I’m still coming to terms with losing my beloved Charlotte. She wasn’t a pet, but a part of my family, a sister, a mother, a friend. And yes, I find it ironic that her death occurred the same month as the anniversary of my mother’s death. While I’m finally getting the courage to write about what happened on 1/7/91, putting it all on paper with the hopes of letting it go, here I am in the throws of losing another soul I care so much about.
So I’m finagling blog entries moving them about, “Part 1, Part 2” etc. Oh crap, my cat died so I should write about that, but here I am just starting to write about Charlotte too. I need to just let it go and realize that you CANNOT plan life, you can’t place blog entries in the order they “should” go. Life happens. And so some days I may continue to write about Momma, other days I may write about Charlotte. In the grand scheme of things they are one and the same anyway.
I see the connection. The energies of this world have decided that I need to learn to let go, that I need to learn that when someone dies, they do not die. Their energy becomes a part of your energy, a part of the world’s energy. They live. You don’t lose anything. In living your life you allow them to continue to live through you. It’s all one. I know that in my head, I do, but my heart is still getting used to the fact that I won’t ever hear her soft meow anymore. That she won’t ever come stand at the living room door to announce, “It’s 10pm, time to go upstairs to bed so I can curl up beside you then cover your face with goodnight kisses.”
My heart knows she’s still here. Right here. My head just needs to catch up.